Life long dream becoming true

When I was about three years old I saw a fiddler at a music festival. I don't remember much about the festival but I remember telling my parents that I wanted to learn to play like that man. But I never took the idea any farther. I did lots of stuff as a kids, piano lessons, voice lessons, ballet, jazz and modern dance. I was very involved in acting in high school but I never purposed fiddle. I did not really know any people that played the fiddle, nor did my parents. But the idea never left me. It was always there in the back ground.



As an adult I sort of thought that that dream was dead. First of all, who can learn to play an instrument as an adult? I was told that if you had not learned the violin before the age of 5 there is no point in starting. Plus, I did not have time. I had little kids at home that needed me. I could not take time for my self to do something frivolous like learn the fiddle. (Heck, I could not take time for something as boring as a hair cut!) And plus, we could not afford it.

Well something changed a few months ago. Actually, the idea came to me when I was in the hospital with the loss of our baby. I don't know why then and there but I thought hey maybe I can take some of this energy/grief and learn the fiddle. Stupid me, I said this out loud to my husband. I should know by now that if I say something to Ryan, he will hold me to it.

Well, actually he did more then that. I found me a teacher.

I was so nervous that first lesson. What would she think of me, a grown women trying to learn to play an instrument? You know what, she was awesome, so supportive and enthusiastic. She told me that of all her students she loves teaching adults the most because they actually want to be there, are motivated to learn and practice.

I can not tell you how much I love playing. So far I have learned two fiddle tunes, two Christmas carols and my 2-year-old's favourite, Twinkle-twinkle Little Star.

On days when grief comes in its surprising, mysterious way playing my fiddle really is balm to my soul. On the ever-increasing days where grief is far way playing makes me even happier. I can't keep from smiling while playing such fun music. If I miss playing one day, every one around me can tell: I am way more grumpy!

I love making music that makes my kids dance around me and makes people laugh. I love being able to make something beautiful, just to add beauty to the world.

And as I have heard before but never believed, having something I do just for me, just for fun, makes me a better mom, wife and friend.

So here is my challenge to you. What have you always wanted to do but where too old, too poor, too scared to do?  What did you use to love as a kids that you have forgotten about? What are you going to do today, just for you, just for fun? Go and do it. Trust me, your family will be glad you did.